Wassup homies! I'm sitting here in the bar and grill room at beautiful La Costa Country Club and Spa in Carlsbad, California munching on a egg salad sandwich made with Wonder Bread and Miracle Whip. I just got through spankin Tiger's fish faced ass on the first 18 and plan on kissin' the cup after about 14 more holes.
This match is easy compared to the one I had with my good bud Phil Mickelson yesterday, and far less on the line. Phil and I had a gentleman's bet. I win, I get his hooch (again). He wins, I gotta give up my signed copy of Coach Smith's new book. Let me tell ya. I couldn't wait to dispense of that pesky Darren Clarke and hit the hot tub with Mrs. Mick. Four babies (two are mine by the way) didn't take the snap outta that snapper. That beotch can flat out massage a pole with no hands! I made her kiss my balls for good luck today.
Yeah, Phil was pissed he had to share the hooch again so I let him wear my size 30 long green jacket I won a few years ago. Sure, I'm the only skinny guy on tour with a double chin, but at least I don't have tits! When that mofo starts lactating I stay 10 steps back. STEP! And no hugs on 18.
I tried to make the same bet with Tiger, but he wasn't partin' with the porno star that "Sweedie" (that's what I call Jesper, what a card) set him up with. Just between you and me, old Jesper used to tap his ex-nanny as regularly as MJ (my man) cheated on his wife.
Well, gotta go finish some bidness. Cold chillin' in Carlsbad (YO, Pettersson, they named this place after you Wuffie!) GO HEELS.
DL Trey

Weird first post.

Umm...stay a while?

Shouldn't your name be "former UNC star Davis Love III"? I know that's what every frickin' local sportscaster calls you.

Welcome Back DL Trey

Whoa, I thought this thread was about Lee...

That headline-grabbin, endorsement-snabbin, Nike ball playin,
Titleist snubbin, million dollar appearance money takin, Swede layin, multi racial piece o shit eeked out a win against yours truly today. I'm on Heineken number 7 and I'm about to whip Stephen Leaney's ass at arm wrestling. Yeah, Sluman, you ain't the only one I can beat.
Darren Clarke's hooch is here, but I'm not hittin on her. Man, the Brits need toothpaste bad!

Great parody poster.

Almost in the league of ROBOSHEED! ("I dun fooleted you all !")

Wassup homies!!! *flashes gang sign*
Been too long since I checked in on you mofo'in lie slingin', playa hatin', abcers.
I'm sittin' at the 19th hole of Quail Hollow golf club enjoyin' an ice cold Heineken relishing my four under round today which has PUT DL TREY BACK IN CONTENTION! I'M BACK!
Quite a few things have changed since my last visit here. Amy Mickelson is off limits. No more hot tub parties with Phil and his wife admiring bare breasts....hers not his.
Tiger's wife is most definitely off limits. What a bitch. Let a man be a man. And how come that half breed hacker didn't invite the Trey to join in????
John Daly's body is less poochier than mine and his wives are off limits due to restraining orders.
BUT OH WHAT A FRESH CROP OF HOOCHIES TO CHOOSE FROM!!!! Pat Perez, who leads this tournament, has a fine ass blonde wife that I'm trying to get to know...but who doesn't?

So tonight I'm headin to Uptown Cabaret for a reunion tour with none other than Boom Boom Couples. Yep, the gray hairs are gonna strut their stuff. I still sport a pair of Sans-a-belts with the best of 'em. Having Freddy for a wing man is awesome. His castoffs are 10's...I ain't kiddin. Plus there's a DJ there who will ROCK THE HOUSE with Ben Folds and James Taylor if I slip him a benjamin. Hey man, where's the party at? Right here under your feet!

I don't arm wrestle any more. Not since Laura Davies broke my knuckles at a celebrity tournament. I can still whip Sluman, though, and maybe Justin Leonard.

I'll check back in with you punks after I KISS THAT WELLS FARGO CUP!!!! Word to the mutha.
GO HEELS.

DL TREY (all caps for being awesome)

PS - Thoughts and prayers to Seve's family. He was a helluva lot nicer than that 9 toed greasy fekker Olazabel.

Yo Yo Yo,

Where u dun ben all des years?

Back in tha day u wuz 'round-O-bunch but since Ping droppeted u dey aint ben nuffin dustin up 'bout u.

Stay scragiht an don't be no Cousin Willie.

Yo Peace.

Peace out

Sheed