Hello Americans! This is a special Piss'n report! I'm Piss'n.
We interupt regular programming as Michael McAdoo addresses reporters. We take you live outside of The Cheesecake Factory...
Spokesperson( John Baker ), " Mr. Mcdoo will make a brief statement. There will be no questions taken afterwards. Power to the people! Thank you."
McAdoo. "Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. I have been playin ball for seventeen years and have never received anything (wink) but kindness and encouragement from you fans.
"Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn't consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day? Sure, I'm lucky. Who wouldn't consider it an honor to have known John Baker? Also, the builder of footballs greatest empire, Butch Davis? To have spent 2 years with that wonderful little fellow, Marvin Austin? Then to have spent the last nine hours with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the best agent with cash, Gary Whichard? Sure, I'm lucky.
"When my HEELZ, a team you would give your right nut to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift - that's something( wink). When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats SHOWS YOU DA MONEY - that's something. When you have a wonderful lawyer who takes sides with you in squabbles with his alma mater - that's something. When you have a father somewhere and a mother who work all her life so you can have an AF-AM degree and build your body - it's a blessing. When you have Marvin Austin who has been a tower of strength and shown more Benjamines than you dreamed existed - that's the finest I know.
"So I close in saying that I may have had a bad break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
Alrighty then... For the latest in your world...and his...keep it here! C-sux, we report, you decide!
I'm Piss'n, good day!