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[DevilDJ]

Most Duke and State fans are familiar with this guy. His latest....

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Nominate | ReportPosted: Yesterday 8:36 PM

HELLO DUKE FRIENDS GREAT NUES!!!!!

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HELLO and GREETINGS my Duke person friends from your good friend, Stan! While normally the press, of, Business at the Roosevelt Avenue McDonalds keeps me busy this time of year (the Off Season) I come to you with Momentus News! It seems that the Tar 'Holes' of the University of North carolina-Chapel Hill have reached out an olive branch, as they are offering me, Stan, a DOCTORATE.

No doubt as many have said, Stan, you are fooling with us. I tell them no it is true! I have recently received noterfication that the Tar 'Hole' school has granted me a DOCTORATE in "African-American Studies" with a concentraytion in "African".

I pertested as one might think when the kindly man, a Head Doctor Nyang'Oro (this translates roughly to "Fruit In Jar") called me and invited me to gradiation this weekend. 'But my dear sir, " I pertested, "I have done no coursework. How is it that you have given me a doctorate, which is a gradiate degree?" "Dear Mr, Nkumwye, do not fret," said Doctor Nyang'Oro. "Course work is optional at unc-Chapel Hill which is the most modern of schools. Do you not have a degree from the University of Niamey? Do you not know about 'Africa'? I had to agree that this was so. "Then you are qualified, highly qualified," said he. "Most of my 'African-American Studies' students cannot find Africa on a map if I spot them Asia and South America." With this explanation I asseded to this high Honour.

Mr. Oknanjo says, this is a scam to take your money. I tell him no, they have awarded me a Fool Scholarship, which is something because I did not even ask for this. A modern school in indeed.

And true to Doctor Nyang'Oro's word, a letter confirming my degree and inviting me to Gradation arrived just this past day. Here is a picture of it; I took the picture and it is being held by Khourosh, an Armenian I know who drives a limousine:



Sadly I cannot get time off from work to attend the gradation to meet my new colleagues; in my country it is said, Diseased genitals must keep to themselves. But dear Friends I will not insist you call me Doctor, as I will always be just Your,

Devoted Fiend,

STAN

[Carlos the Jackal]

[Lee Corso]

Excellent

[DevilDJ]

He posted the same thing at PP. Guy's funny ya'll.

[DevilDJ]

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Nominate | ReportPosted: Today 10:53 AM

Re: HELLO DUKE FRIENDS GREAT NUES!!!!!

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HELLO dear Blue Devil person fiends it it your friend Stan of the NIT saying, Good day. I cannot tell you how much I aperciate your good wishes regarding my Doctorate from the University of North carolina at Chapel Hill. However I did receive a troubling phone call or two since the annoucement. Dr. Fruit In Jar called and suggested that I was most wreckless to announce my doctorate on the "Wolf Pack sight" as they were out to destroy him. I tell him no, they are only interested in elimination of plagiarism and Wolf Pack sports. He then hung up angrily.

I later received a telephone call from someone with a strange name - Holding Forth. I could barely understand him as during most of the call he was sobbing like an unruly child tho he said things about "Casio" "Miater" and "lifetime" and mentioned a "Patsy" though he did not ellaborate who this Patsy person is.

Finerly I receive a telephone call from a gentleman who named himself as Braxton Sugg from the North carolina State Bureau of Investigation. "North carolina State! My Wolf Pack friends!" I cried for they are my friends as well as you, Blue, Devils, but he said he is Law Enforcement which sobered me greately. He said there was an Official Investigation of Doctor Fruit In Jar if you can believe this he asked me if I had receeved anything from unc Chapel Hill and I told him of the letter which he asked me to FAX.

Mr. Okanjo says it is troubling to be contacted by this Investigation person; I tell him no, I have done nothing wrong and in any event this is America where the government only rarely attempts to violates people's rights. However I am very concerned about these Tar 'Holes' as the Agent mentioned "fraud." This does not serprise Stan given the Tar 'Hole' antics of the past, in my country it is said, "One takes care of one's own: when a bachelor roasts yam, he shares it with his sheep." Such it is with these Tar 'Hole' persons I think THANK YOU.

NITStan I know such things. 151 posts this site
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Posted: Today 10:58 AM

Re: N&O: unc Might Take Action Against Former Department

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ProfessorWolf wrote:

weejuns1 wrote:

santepack wrote: Hate to break it to you but the AD doesn't even bring in what would be considered a decent pre-teen allowance compared to the academic side. The profs will win this war at the end of the day. They don't give a fat rats a** about banners.

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--- blpack90 wrote:

The academics don't want to kill the golden goose. No one wants to narc on the athletes while still finding it appalling at what they see. If unc-ch doesn't cheat, they'd be UVA in hoops and Duke in football.

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If, and only if they choose to go to war. Hasn't happened yet. only a couple of "rogue" professors.

Before I put on my robe and hood and head out the door for graduation, let me take a minute to address WeeJuns concern. Hasn't happened yet does not mean it is not in the works. The faculty as a group, are not ones to post their intentions on a sports message board, describe their plan in the comments section of an N&O article, or define strategy in an OpEd piece in the local news paper. They talk among themselves, and an idea swells into a plan and the plan gets executed with deadly precision. I don't care what the issue is... athletics, a rogue chancellor or extended library hours... the method is usually the same. And when I say deadly precision I mean it.

In my best Charlie Sheen voice... WINNING! Its what we do. We fail, and we fail a lot, but in the end, we succeed. When asked by students in my class how I earned my PhD, I honestly tell them my less-than-stellar undergrad GPA and explain I was not the best student in the world. I follow that up by telling them I refused to surrender. You grasp an idea/theory/hypothesis and you launch into the scientific process. When things take an unexpected turn, you adapt, and start over. But you never, ever, give up. Guess what, I have 1400 colleagues at State that have nearly the same mindset. Pick a goal then plan, adapt and achieve.

To borrow from Arlo Guthrie... you know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both XXXXXX and they won't take either of them. And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement. And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement,

So... that ONE professor has an idea... that one person... talks about it with his peers... three people, can you imagine three people... and that is how you start the Anti-Athletics Massacre Movement. It all begins at the departmental coffee pot and expands from there. You think the Dean of Arts and Sciences called for the review of the Department of Swahilli on her own? Nope... fifty people, I said fifty people walked in.. the underlings got to her and she had no choice. And so the movement has begun. There will be failed attempts by the pointy-heads, but they will not give up. It is Game ON for them. A once in a lifetime chance to take back what they perceive is theirs... the university. That is a big prize. They have their mission and are as deadly as SEAL Team 6, albeit in a different manner. Failure is not an option.

In closing... CONGRATULATIONS to the thousands of students that have EARNED their degree from NC State and will be graduating today. Your degree is actually worth something! If you are one of the graduates today, look for me, I'm one of the pointy-heads wearing a Red & White hood, signifying my PhD was confirmed by the Wolfpack!


CONGRADULATIONS I too am a PhD as of today in African American Studies with a consentration in "African" from the University of North carolina - Chapel Hill. It is good to speak with a fellow acerdemic. Though I cannot attend the serimoney due to work obligations my Cousin Crunque is picking up my diploma.
"NIT Fever: Catch it!"

[Dread]

So this equivalent of Waffleiron is saying the "faculty" are going to ...what exactly?

Turn a shitty, cheating liberal arts school into a slightly less shitty, cheating liberal arts school?

Knee-grow PULEEZE.